Foto Friday - Sad

Proof the baby girl isn't ALWAYS a smiley happy girl.

I'm sure she's wondering why I'm taking her picture and not consoling her or helping her up.

Giggly Girl

Madison was going crazy with her toys a few moments before this, but of course once I got the camera she stopped. :)

Oh well...at least you can see her sitting up and giggling! I LOVE hearing her giggle, I wish I could just bottle that sound...it's so cute!

I love, love, LOVE this little munchkin!

Updates!

So, I guess it's time for a real post, and not just a picture. :)

*SLEEP TRAINING

So far, Madison and I have stuck to our NY's resolution (probably the first time I've ever followed through with a NY resolution). Since January 1, she has done ALL her night time sleeping in her crib, and all naps (when we are home) in her crib. Now, don't get me wrong, it hasn't been easy. Oh, no, no, no...and we are still working on it and having good days and not as good days. I still have days and nights of extreme guilt, too. I'm hoping that goes away someday, but I'm not counting on it.

-Night Time Sleep

Until a few nights ago, she was sleeping for 8-10 hours straight once she fell asleep. She'd wake to be nursed, and go back down for another 1.5 - 2 hours before getting up for the day. However, it took her about 30-45 minutes of crying (and us checking in on her) before falling asleep at bed time. I knew she was fine and the end result was sleeping, but I just felt that 30-45 minutes of crying every night was TOO much (for me and for her). We were putting her down around 8:30pm. I finally determined that we were putting her down too late and she was over tired, leading to so much crying. She would basically fall asleep nursing and then of course would be ticked when I moved her (which makes sense) to her crib.

We had been trying to keep her up later so she could have wake time with Daddy once he got home from work...but, we knew we had to do what's best for Madison, so for the last couple weeks I've been working our way up earlier and our new goal is to start her last feeding around 7:30pm, so she can be in her crib by 7:45pm. It makes Josh sad to not see his baby girl some evenings, but it's what's best.

Such a Daddy's girl!

With the earlier bedtime, there is substantially less crying (probably closer to 10-20 minutes), BUT, of course that means an earlier wake time, and now we are working on adjusting her nap times. *sigh*

For the last 3 nights, she's been waking up after only 4-6 hours. I listen to her fuss for 5-10 minutes to see if she'll fall back asleep, but she hasn't been, so, I nurse and her she goes back down immediately with 5 minutes max. of fussing, and sleeps until morning. I'm not sure why there's been a shift? I'm wondering if she's having a growth spurt? We are feeding her cereal at night, but have been doing so all month. I had to skip one night earlier this week and that was the night she woke up earlier than usual. But, we haven't skipped cereal since. I am trying to really make sure she's nursing as long as she wants during the day, hoping to increase her daily calorie intake and get her back to sleeping a bit longer before waking up. It's so hard to know if she's starting to wake up to nurse from habit or from hunger or just to see me. I certainly do not want to deny her if she's hungry!!! Josh has been out of town this week, but he's back, so I think if she does it again tonight, I will have him check in on her (since she won't associate him with a feeding) before going in to nurse her. I know it's normal to feed her once during the night still, so I'm not upset with getting up, just more curious about why the shift.

She wakes up SO happy. I feel like she's telling me, "See, Mom. I'm ok. I won't hate you forever for making me learn to sleep on my own."

-Naps

Ugh. Naps. The good news, she usually only fusses for 5 minutes or less before falling asleep for her naps. The bad news...they are so inconsistent! Sometimes she sleeps for 30 minutes, making for a long crabby day, sometimes an hour and a half. I recently added dark (ugly) curtains to her room, and that has seem to help increase her napping time. Her room was pretty bright even with the blinds closed during the day.

*BEDTIME ROUTINE

Every night we have some quiet play, snuggling, naked time on her soft Winnie the Pooh blanket. We dim the lights. She gets lotioned up and changed into her pjs. (She gets a bath every other night to start her bedtime routine.)

*PACIFIER

No more pacifier for Madi. We never gave her one once we started sleep training. So, we don't plan on giving her one anymore. She was never really that into them anyways and doesn't seem to miss them.

*NURSING

I'm happy that Madison is still nursing. She eats 5 times a day, and has one serving of cereal in the evenings. I'm hoping that by 6 months, we'll get her to drop her middle of the night feeding...but, we'll see. You all know my chubby girl likes to eat! :)

I've started pumping and freezing my milk when I get a chance. We still haven't decided when we'll stop breastfeeding. That's a whole new topic to post on sometime.

Most of you know how scheduled I am, how I thrive on order and consistency. Miss Madison has definitely challenged me (which is a good thing). I have accepted to just be flexible, and that there are days that won't go as I had planned and that everything will be ok. To not get so caught up on her nursing and napping at the exact times I have planned for her.

If I feel myself getting anxious, I just remind myself to enjoy each and every moment with her, 'cause they are flying by and she's growing up SO quickly!

Foto Friday - Bath Time

She's gonna love me someday for this picture, right?! :)

Foto Friday - Sleepy Girl

I love Madison's LONG eyelashes...she gets those from her Daddy! :)

5 months!

Miss Madison is 5 months old today!

Words cannot explain how happy this little girl makes us. I am so, so, SO lucky to be able to work from home and be a stay-at-home Mama for Madison.

She loves grabbing for and touching anything and everything in front of her.

She loves her walker and her jumper. She's a very active baby!

She can easily roll from back to front, but can't seem to remember how to go from front to back.

She loves when I sing 'Itsy Bitsy Spider' to her.

She enjoys eating her cereal at dinner...she opens her mouth so big when she sees the spoon!

Winky and Benny continue to be great entertainment for her. She loves watching them play and enjoys petting Winky.

She can sit unassisted for like 1 second...sometimes even 2 seconds before toppling forward.

We are still working on her sleeping habits. She is sleeping in her crib through the night...but she still cries for 10-30 minutes EVERY night before falling asleep, and it breaks my heart! Naps are hit and miss. No matter what I do, she only naps for about 30 minutes at a time! Oh well...just doing my best and trying not to stress too much...

Look at her crazy hair! And, she's being so violent to poor Mr. Pooh Bear. I think she's seen one too many MMA fights!!! ;-)

Jumpin' Madison

Madison loves her jumper!

Foto Friday - Ducky Feet

Getting my ducky feet!

Thanks for the outfit G'ma Tracy!

Cereal and Rolling Over!

Two more videos for your viewing pleasure. :)

Here is Miss Madison rolling over from back to belly! I had a feeling she could do it once I saw how far she could get on her side, so I tempted her this morning, and she plopped right over! She did it twice, and then once for the camera.

A couple days ago we let Madison try some rice cereal for the first time. Me being the #1 Mom I

am, realized I didn't even have a baby spoon for her so I had to use my finger. Geeeez!

She is learning new things and growing so fast everyday, it just amazes us!

CIO Update

Well, we're surviving!

Madison seems to be doing well sleeping in her crib through the night. Two nights ago, and last night she's gone down at bedtime, around 9pm-ish with 5 minutes or less of crying. :) She's slept straight through until 4am-ish, which is when she normally wakes to be fed. After her feeding, she's gone back to sleep with 5 minutes or less of crying until 8:30am-ish, which is when she normally wakes up for the day. THANK GOODNESS!

However, I will admit I really miss all the cuddling and waking up to her sweet face each morning.

Naps during the day...now, that's another story. Yesterday was tough. Lots of crying. :( Not a lot of daytime sleeping. Today has been better. She went down for her morning nap with less than 5 minutes of crying, and slept for about an hour and a half. Here she is...apparently she is a side sleeper!

This afternoon she went down around 3:30pm, easily, and awoke around 4pm. I'm letting her fuss a bit now, and hoping she'll go back to sleep...we'll see...

I have always been pretty consistent with Madison's bedtime, so I attribute that to her being able to sleep at night so well. Her naps have never been super consistent, so I think that's why we're struggling a bit more. I'm trying now to get her on a better napping schedule to help her sleep better during the days.

It's still horrible listening to her cry during the day, and there are still moments I feel like I made the wrong decision. I'm probably going to gain 10 lbs. in the meantime, because for some reason, I feel like eating a ding dong while she's crying will magically help her go to sleep. Yes, I am cursing Josh for stopping at the Hostess Bakery Outlet, and cursing myself for having no will power. Geesh!

But honestly, right now, I do feel like she's improving. So, for now...we'll continue.

Madison "Walking"

Madison loves her walker! Look at her go! :)

CIO

Ready for a super honest, long, rambling, whiny post?! If not, skip this one...my feelings won't be hurt. :)

C - I - O

Cry It Out

Before I was a parent, I would have had no idea what these three letters represented. I would have had no idea who Ferber was, who the Baby Whisperer was, or who Dr. Sears was. But, for the last month or so, baby sleep is something I've thought about, googled, pondered, researched, and debated on an almost daily basis.

Madison's New Year's Resolution - aka My New Year's Resolution for 2011 is for baby Madison to learn to soothe herself and do all her sleeping in her crib.

Since Madison's been born, I've had the luxury of being with her every single day, for every single nap, and for every single need. We easily fell into the habit of her co-sleeping with us every night, and for me to rock, bounce, walk her to sleep and then hold her for 30-90 minutes for every single nap when we're home. Sounds a bit crazy doesn't it?!

When she was a newborn, it was easy and I expected to hold her a lot. I still don't believe you can hold a newborn or spoil a baby by holding them too much for the first 3-4 months. However, for the past 2-3 weeks, getting Madison to sleep has become...well, I'll be honest...a huge drain on me, and on her.

She is almost 20 pounds. I am physically exhausted from always holding her. She is getting much stronger and squirmier, and I've almost dropped her a couple times when she's gotten really upset. I haven't been getting enough sleep. I'm always tired...and irritable. That's no fun. I don't feel like I'm being a good Mom either when I'm so cranky.

I am mentally exhausted from thinking (both rationally and irrationally) about all this, too.

On a daily basis I:

-google and read about sleep methods and strategies for babies

-worry about her losing trust in me if I don't respond to her crying

-worry about her never being able to soothe herself, and becoming a "bad sleeper"

-worry about her quality of sleep (we both wake each other up multiple times each night)

-wish I had more "me time" to get back to working out, organizing my new house, scrapbooking, blogging, etc.

-wish I had more time for Josh...I spend SO much time getting her to sleep or sleeping with her that Josh and I practically lead separate lives once 9pm rolls around

-feel extremely guilty for wanting more "me time"

-feel guilty for putting my relationship with Josh on the back burner

-worry that by letting her CIO I am going to cause of damage to her physically

-worry that she will somehow remember this and she will hate me forever

I could go on...and on, and on, and on.... I'm so thankful for Josh. He hears this stuff all the time and continues to listen to me. How lucky am I?

Anyways, after a loooong conversation with Josh, we decided to start letting Madison CIO for naps and at bed time. I know I really need his support. I want to run in, scoop her up and cuddle her after about 30 seconds of hearing her cry. (I'll be clear though, I also really want her to sleep in her crib.) We also talked about how once we decided to start it we had to be consistent.

We started yesterday. We were both at our wits end, and, Josh has more time to be up late and be supportive and help me at night for these next few days.

We are letting her cry, but checking on her every 5 minutes in the beginning, and then every 10 minutes. We are soothing her by patting her and shhh-ing her, but not picking her up. During the day, we are not letting her cry for more than an hour. If she does, we just pick her up and go on with her day.

Yesterday we started at her afternoon nap. No luck. She cried for an hour and would not sleep. :( My heart ached. I felt like I was abandoning her. When I would go in to soothe her, at first she would smile, then when she realized I wasn't picking her up, she'd cry. Then I'd cry. :( Josh took over after that. She didn't sleep, so we got her up.

For her evening nap, she cried again for an hour. Josh got her up, she immediately fell asleep in his arms. We put her back in the crib. She awoke and cried for about 20 minutes, then slept for 2.5 hours! Success!

She woke up around 11pm and I fed her. Then, she seemed pretty awake, so we let her stay up for about 30 minutes. We rang in the New Year...then, back to her crib (she started rubbing her eyes...a sign she is tired).

Happy 2011!

She cried and slept on and off for about 2 hours, then she finally fell asleep around 2:30am for 2.5 hours. She woke at 5am, I fed her, and put her straight back in her crib. She only cried for about 1 minute, and then slept again until 9am...3.5 hours!! When she woke this morning, she was happy.

I know I also need to get her on a better schedule. We had a great schedule going, but with moving and the holidays, everything has been a bit off. So, right now we're first working on getting her to sleep in her crib and then working to getting her back to her schedule. I believe a schedule will help her with sleeping, too. She does have a bedtime routine, so we're continuing with that of course.

Here's to day 2. I know it will take more than 1 day. My goal right now is to stick to it for at least 3 days. And, to continue as long as I'm seeing an improvement. I don't believe CIO is for every baby or for every family. So, if I don't feel it's "working" I won't continue it. Also, I hope you don't think I'm a monster for letting her CIO. And, if you do, that's ok really...I kind of feel like one. :(

Whew. If you're still reading...kudos to you! I'm kind of exhausted just from proof reading it. I'm also kind of hesitant to post this...maybe I'm being too honest and sharing too much?! Oh well...

Oh, and I know I have some preggo readers, and future preggo readers...sorry if my ramblings scared the crap out of you. :)

Happy 2011!