Yes...I'm Still Nursing M

So, I'm assuming this is a post geared towards Mamas or Soon-To-Be Mamas...OR people who are just curious about weaning. Or maybe no one is interested in this post, and that's ok, too. :)

Really, I'm writing this for me to reflect on my experiences since the plan is to stop nursing M completely in the next month...or so.

Consider yourself warned if the words, "breast" or "weaning" or "nipple" or "plugged duct," make you uncomfortable. Yeah, you should have probably stopped reading like 2 sentences ago...

My Breast Feeding History - "Will/Do you breast feed your baby?"

Before Getting Pregnant:
"Heck, no! No thank you. Ew. Nope. Never."

While Pregnant:

"Ok, I'm going to try, but if it doesn't work out, I won't worry about it."

Madions' 1st Month:
"OMGOSH! This is horrible! I can't do this! Is it time for her nurse again ALREADY! I can't do this! They never tell you this will happen! I can't do this!"

Madison's 2nd Month:
"Ok, we got the hang of this. I can do this for another month. I wanna save money!"

Madison's 3rd Month:
"Well, now my goal is to keep going until she's 6 months. Free food for baby = :)"

Madison's 6th Month:

"Nursing Madison is a breeze now. I will probably nurse her until about 12 months...then that's it! I will NOT nurse her past a year! Maybe I'll introduce formula around 9 months, we'll see..."

Madison's 10th Month:
"Ok, better start thinking about weaning and how to introduce whole milk. I can't wait for her to start giving up some of her nursing sessions! I'm SOOOO OVER being her sole source of nutrition!"

Madison's 12th Month:

"So, nursing her until 15 months isn't that crazy right?! I kinda can't imagine NOT nursing her...."

Madison's 13th Month - RIGHT NOW:

"Ok, I seriously gotta get my plan in action...I'm dropping her morning session...like next week...for sure...."

Ahhh...the evolution of my experience with breastfeeding has been quite remarkable, and has been an experience that I could have never imagined or predicted.

I do feel very grateful that M and I were able to figure everything out, that my body cooperated, and after the first month, nursing really became pretty natural for us.

During the first month, I experienced lotsa pain, bleeding, cracked nipples, and a couple plugged ducts. I cried. A lot. It was uncomfortable, frustrating, scary, and stressful. (I'm sure it was horrible for Josh, too, for different reasons.) BUT, we survived, thanks to nipple shields. (Google it if you don't know what I'm talking about.) They sell them at Target. My Aunt was a lactation consultant and helped me over the phone SO much.

As a new Mama, I quickly realized I wasn't really prepared for breastfeeding at all...even though I took one info. class and did a fair amount of research on-line on my own, so I thought I was prepared before I had M. HA...no, I was not REALLY prepared...(although reflecting back...not sure what else I really could have done...except to talk to a real woman that breastfed...and that's well...awkward...plus, I wouldn't have even know what to ask really...).

My experience with pumping was fine. I thought I would pump more than I ever did...but, I could never figure out how to pump to have extra but to still feel I had enough for her...and truthfully, what it came down to was that I had the luxury of being with her ALL the time that I didn't really have to worry about it.

I never nursed in public...and don't think I ever could. Josh and I sacrificed a lot with our schedules and planning around Madison's nursing sessions the first few months, but I feel it was worth it.

I was very scared to start weaning Madison. Mostly because I didn't want to experience a lot of pain, fullness, tenderness...leaking, plugged ducts...you know...all that fun stuff that they don't talk to you at all about when they are luring you into committing to breastfeeding. :p

But, anyways, here's what worked for us:

At 11 months, M was nursing 4 times a day...like clockwork - morning, before lunch, before dinner, and before bed. I wanted to cut her dinner session first...so I began by just limiting her time nursing to 10 min. per side for one week, then 5 min. per side the following week (followed by a sippy with milk), then I just stopped the third week. It didn't seem to phase her really, and my body had time to adjust. Success! Ok. I can do this! I really felt a huge sense of relief once that first session was cut out. I didn't experience any discomfort.

We went on just nursing 3 times a day for about 2 weeks...then, I followed the same pattern to cut out her lunch session. Again, no pain...some mild feelings of fullness, but nothing too uncomfortable as my body adjusted.

She gets whole milk in her sippy after her morning and afternoon naps in lieu of nursing. She took to whole milk easily. No big deal. Again...VERY thankful for that transition, too!

I've been nursing her just twice a day now for the last 3 weeks or so. My plan is to cut her morning session starting tomorrow!!! I'm not sure why I'm holding on to it...she's already fairly disinterested in the mornings...and only nurses about 5 min. per side and then wants to get down and play and get on with her day. I'm being selfish. I know this. So, I'm promising myself that by tomorrow, no matter what, I'll give up her morning session.

Not sure what the exact plan is for weaning her from her before bed session just yet...there's a lot of variables there. Plus, I'm not sure why I feel like I HAVE to quit nursing her completely....it's confusing me.

**My memories of nursing her every single night before she goes to sleep for the last 13 months of her life is....indescribable, really. No matter what kind of day we've had...we've ALWAYS ended it together. That is something I truly treasure.**

But, all things, even good things, must end so that we can appreciate those things and continue on to the next chapter of our lives together.

Will I nurse Madison's siblings in the future? (No, I'm not pregnant!)
Undecided. Not sure how I would handle it...since I feel it is a huge time commitment...but if I didn't, I feel like I would be cheating them of what M had...so...yeah...undecided. (P.S. Yes, I know it's still to feel like that....)

Disclaimer: This post is in no way to put down or make formula feeding Mamas feel bad! This is solely a post based on my personal thoughts and experiences. I am certainly not in judgement of anyone else's parenting decisions.